Troll Miscellany of Miscellaneous Trollery

Spider's Thread From alecweston ^Pro in Too Much To Declare (3 hours old)

That one strand of never-ending spider's thread... We're hiding, darling. Come and hide with us. Nostalgia for cosy pain. Comfortable almost-nothingness. Zego. Narcissism of a shattered mirro… more

Trippy & Queenie From alecweston ^Pro in Too Much To Declare (12 hours old)

Now, here's some hallucinatory news that matters, from the BBC: Oxfordshire's oldest resident has received a new-style birthday card from the Queen - after complaining that she always got the same … more

TrIpPy From alecweston ^Pro in Too Much To Declare (13 hours old)

I am trippy with tiredness. Read three words in any order, close my eyes and I'm swimming in tripoid goo. Hallucinating 'bout bubble gum denim and eyes going through needles. gloB Think of all … more

I am dead, recovering. From alecweston ^Pro in Too Much To Declare (1 day old)

I had one of the worst nights in human history of my recent life last night. Usually my insomnia takes the form of waking at about 4 am and not being able to sleep again. Last night, I didn't ge… more

As Mud From alecweston ^Pro in Too Much To Declare (1 day old)

Is that perfectly clear?… more

To Those It May Concern From alecweston ^Pro in Too Much To Declare (1 day old)

Anybody who steals or attempts to steal my email ID or password, or other personal information I will deal with you in an unusual, spectacular and deeply unpleasant way. Thanks be to God.… more

Buddy Holly Moment From alecweston ^Pro in Too Much To Declare (1 day old)

Well, I guess it doesn't matter any more.… more

imagination From alecweston ^Pro in Too Much To Declare (1 day old)

recycled from 22 october 2008 When I was about nine years old (after my parents were already divorced) my dad told me my mum had no imagination. And, as I was nine years old, I believed him. But ac… more

Profound? Meaningless? From alecweston ^Pro in Too Much To Declare (1 day old)

You can let the genie out of the bottle, but you can never the bottle out of the genie.… more

Puff, puff From alecweston ^Pro in Too Much To Declare (2 days old)

It's a disgrace. What is? Monstrous. Okay, but what are you talking about? Absolutely disgusting. You know what? You're full of shit. There, I knew you'd swear sooner or later!… more

Housework in Perspective From alecweston ^Pro in Too Much To Declare (2 days old)

If the CERN sprectrum-collidoscope thingy reaches optimum-plus speed tonight and stuff gets out of hand and it creates a Black Hole in which the Universe is sucked into at twice the speed of light, th… more

CHURLISH RETURNS From alecweston ^Pro in Where the Rainbow Begins (2 days old)

No, we're taking the story up again, now I've had time to sulk about getting so little feedback and spend a few days ill with man 'flu. We find our hero and heroine standing by a neon sign, on a si… more

Hymn Time BRIGHT 'N' BEAUTIFUL From alecweston ^Pro in Too Much To Declare (2 days old)

All Things Bright and Beautiful All things bright and beautiful, All creatures great and small, All things wise and wonderful: The Lord God made them all. Each little flower that opens, Ea… more

Shopping From alecweston ^Pro in Too Much To Declare (2 days old)

Let blogland be silent, so we can all going Shopping. It is our basic human right to be be jostled, footsore, musacked, coralled, insulted, humiliated, tricked and overcharged for things we often d… more

A 2-Tweet Sermon on Pain From alecweston ^Pro in Too Much To Declare (2 days old)

Pain is pain. Unpleasant, sometimes on the cusp of being unbearable. But pain is not Judgement. Not divine intervention in our small lives, beating us up for our moral failings. Yes, it's pr… more

Bullshit From alecweston ^Pro in Too Much To Declare (3 days old)

Who needs it? There's a lot of it around.… more

Time for some ol' Country From alecweston ^Pro in Too Much To Declare (3 days old)

Just a small-town girl 'til she learned to twirl Then she set the world on fire Like a drive-in Cinderella in a Chevy named desire. So leave your teddy bear at the country fair Honey, Hollywood's… more

The political biscuit From alecweston ^Pro in Too Much To Declare (4 days old)

I have abandoned my attempt to become Prime Minister. I never watch X Factor, and have no favourite sweet biscuit. PS Is there a country where these considerations do not figure in the political d… more

Pacific Shampoo From alecweston ^Pro in Too Much To Declare (4 days old)

I'm going to wash that man right out of my hair And send him on his way. Are you ready boots? These boots are made for walking Wait a minute!  That's another song! And walk is what they'll do One o… more

Is From alecweston ^Pro in Too Much To Declare (4 days old)

there anything we can do about it?… more

Replica Sex From alecweston ^Pro in Too Much To Declare (4 days old)

What is a 'replica handbag' anyway? A replica gun is a gun that doesn't actually do what a gun is meant to do, ie fire bullets. A replica handbag would look like a handbag, but actually be unabl… more

Jewellery? Is the answer disembowelment? From alecweston ^Pro in Too Much To Declare (5 days old)

I woke in such a good mood. Then, as I was checking another site, eight Comment emails arrived in less than 10 minutes. Yes - the jewellery gangster. It has put me in a bad mood to go through… more

Not caring a Fuck From alecweston ^Pro in Too Much To Declare (5 days old)

"I like you best," she told me more than once, "when you don't care a fuck." We had brilliant sex.… more

Sorry... From timsuzi ^Pro in My Secret Garden (5 days old)

Tim apologises to all his blog-friends, he hasn't gone forever, but BT have not honoured their agreement regarding Broadband and he is unable to access the internet at the moment. He looks forward… more

How far away From alecweston ^Pro in Too Much To Declare (5 days old)

(What's wrong with the guy? If its not penguins, it's fragments from South Pacific) How far are they? Philidelphia P.A Princeton N.J. How far are they? From coconut palms To banyan trees… more

V penguins are coming From alecweston ^Pro in Too Much To Declare (5 days old)

This afternoon, evening, whenever I close my eyes - and sometimes when I don't - I see a sandy beach, and coming towards me a V-shaped formation of minuature penguins. Thousands of them, waddling. I… more

Few things feel better From alecweston ^Pro in Too Much To Declare (6 days old)

... than the morning after a bout of heavy cold. I mustn't overdo it. Suddenly everything seems possible. Don't exaggerate. Why not exaggerate? All those tasks I have pushed aside for months - I … more

News about Mary From alecweston ^Pro in Too Much To Declare (6 days old)

Mary had a little lamb, Whose feet werefleece was white as snow. And everywhere that Mary went, The little lamb did go. … more

The hills From alecweston ^Pro in Too Much To Declare (6 days old)

are alive to the sound of music.… more

Event of Day From alecweston ^Pro in Too Much To Declare (6 days old)

Trundle over to MacBook. Blog 3 sentences, Trundle back to bed again.… more